Mastering the art of giving your all while maintaining your self. What do I mean? It is the thoughtful balance of mothering and caring for your family while keeping an independent sense of self. This balance requires an important skill set that includes efficient multitasking and a lot of coffee, or cafecito[1] in my house. Motherhood today entails juggling a myriad of roles while trying to check-mark all the expectations placed on us moms by our social media driven culture. These expectations have been created in an atmosphere of filtered in-authenticity, where women are bombarded with unrealistic images of perfection that emphasize the need for women to do it all.
Moms are expected to be incredibly attentive to our children and husbands, have master-calendared lives, Container-Store-inspired homes, host Pinterest-worthy kids’ birthday parties on a dollar store budget, prepare culinary delights that would fancy any Top Chef judge, maintain professional aspirations or even a full-time job, and last but certainly not least look like Brooke Burke while doing it all, solid abs and toned glutes to boot! It is as if we still need to meet the demands of the stereotypical 1950’s housewife, but with a new generation of expectations piled on top of us as well. So be the perfect housewife and mother, but also be sexually appealing, and make it all look seamless. Seriously, can the demands be any higher?
The reality for most of us is that life in this day and age is challenging, we are juggling too much, and most of us live on the daily verge of mommy burn-out. We are worried about the type of society being cultivated for our children, and how we can prepare them for the direction the world is headed in, and/or how we can play a role in making their world a better place. We worry about what we are feeding their little bodies and the potential harm both hormones and antibiotics do to them. And what about the dreaded smartphones and tablets, and the impending addiction to technology and non-verbal communication? We have so much information at our disposal, so much research, so many opinions, how can we stifle through it all, filter out the nonsense, and figure out what to do? Moms have the most challenging and important task in front of us, we are raising the future generation while trying to instill the morals and values of our own upbringing which was in such a different environment than the one we are in now.
To be fair, these higher demands and expectations have also pushed and encouraged us as women to go beyond motherhood, and not settle for the stereotypical role of housewife and mother. We have mothers in our tribe that really can do it all! They are succeeding at motherhood, being great partners at home and in the boardroom, and really are an inspiration to all moms alike. So it can be done ladies, we can have it all, we can be wonderful mothers, partners, and professionals, or at least we can try. That is what I aim to do, give a good ‘ol college try at giving my all while maintaining my self!
So this blog is a little space I have occupied on the infinite internet where I can share my reality of motherhood and wife-hood via my own personal experiences and those of close family and friends. My little space to connect with my tribe of moms, so we can share our stories and find a bit of solace in knowing that life is not perfect, we are all doing our best while trying to do it all, and having this type of support and encouragement is greatly appreciated. The majority of my day is sans adults, so having a creative outlet, and an opportunity to interact with other women who are like-minded is important and healthy.
My immediate advice is to take it one day at a time. I know that is cliché but it is also accurate. I indulge myself in a glass of wine or chocolate chip cookie when the days are long and tiring, and give myself a pass for trying to do it all. In fact, I am literally breastfeeding my baby, while supervising my 5-year old eating her lunch, and writing this post. This is a typical day for me and I confidently assume most other moms I know. I am two kids in and taking parenthood one day at a time, trying to make the best decisions I can on a moment by moment basis. I try to plan ahead as much as I can to create a semblance of a somewhat organized life, but you know what they say about God and plans. I welcome you to take this journey with me, or I at least invite you to a front row seat of my fumbles, fails, and small victories as I try to master the art of giving my all while maintaining my self, i.e. motherhood!
[1] Cuban Espresso
